Man, I've never laughed so hard for a long time. If you haven't heard of fail humor, check out a sample of said fare below:

Well, I must say that my expectations for the PC version was greatly piqued after I had an opportunity to play it on a friend's XBox 360. I've never played the much vaunted NBA 2K, and with NBA Live 06 having lasted 3 years on my PC, 08 looked really great! The players' idiosyncrasies, such as shooting stroke and free throw routines were all there, not to mention the sweat that was rendered on the players. Not having a console myself, I could only turn to 08 for the PC, and what a shock and horror this has been.

For one thing, the PC version seems to have been developed separately from the console version, with many elements of 06 carrying over to 08. This was immediately apparent when I noticed the players running in the "girly" style that has irked me all this while since I started playing 06. If they could motion capture the dunks, I really don't understand why the players run like, I dunno, like an ostrich trying to fly. I can't comment about the renderings because I can't run the game at maximum graphics intensity, but there's enough to talk about with things like this:


I mean seriously man, did the developers do any debugging at all? The bench floating around doesn't obstruct your own players, who can run through them as though they are the apparitions that they appear to be, but it is just crap that this kind of mistake can happen in a commercial application. And let's not forget the infamous coach-in-the-scorer's-table image:
 

Or this NSFW image of a public display of affection between coach and player (I kid you not: the player was indeed frozen in this position of ecstasy):
 

But apart from this, the gameplay is simply appalling on 2 fronts. First, the ability to configure your roster has been severely crippled, with many of the functions in 06 now gone. For example, you have no ability to choose your starting lineup. You can set it on the menu screen just before you enter the game, but you have to do this every single time the game is rebooted. What's worse is that the starting lineup even resets itself if you idle on the calendar screen for too long. Another roster limitation is that you can no longer arrange the list of players according to most used. This becomes a real hassle when you think about how substitutions is now necessary in 08 because players can fatigue quite quickly; Kevin Garnett, for some reason, loses half his stamina after just 2 1/2 minutes on the floor. So, if you have a long roster, you're going to have to drag that side scroll up and down at least twice in each game. Apart from this, you also cannot select your controller until you enter the game, which is also another real drag.

Next is the in-game play itself. I know NBA Live has always been programmed with an advantage for big man (they can block shots and shoot over opponents), but this has gone all out of proportion in 08. The reason - even guards can block your shorter players. It simply amazes me how Tony Parker can block 4 shots in a game when his average stats is less than 0.1, and his block rating is only 13 (if memory serves). Heck, I think he blocked my Yao Ming avatar once...while on a drive to the basket! What is worse is if your player has some crazy floater signature move, which increases your chance of being blocked because a hanging player allows the computer to react and challenge your shot. (Note: a crazy quirk is that the block very often counts as a steal for the opposing team, and a turnover for you).

The super irritating steal-block thingamajig.

Things got so bad I even had to trade Paul Pierce! He couldn't drive because he would get rejected there, and he couldn't shoot because he floated - in the end a totally useless player in the game. By the way, in case you are thinking, the computer rarely if ever falls for a pump fake, so you can forget that. On my own part, even though Kevin Garnett is rated 90+ as a shot blocker, the computer's player almost always drives happily by without being challenged. Go figure. Another strange thing is that your players lockup as the opponent is shooting free throws. This means that, as much as Steve Kerr complains about your lack of blocking out, there is nothing you can do about it because you can't move your players immediately after a miss. What crap.

Hints and Tips
I play 5 minute quarters, and my team is averaging 170+ points a game; I have 3 players averaging 30 points, and I lead the league in sugar spice, and everything nice. How do you do this? Apart from the usual things, such as to challenge every shot, here are 3 other not-so-obvious things you can do.

1. Never forget to resort to the good old inbound steal! (Ahh, reminds me of the good-old Sega Genesis Lakers vs. Celtics days). You could do it in 06 too (I was averaging 200+ points there, which I also would in 08 if the likes of Parker and Bibby weren't blocking all my layups). You can't do it the 06 style though; back then, you had to poke the ball out of the hands of the player after he receives the ball. In 08, you have to move in front of the opposing player as the inbounder throws the ball. Your avatar will block the ball into his own hands 90% of the time; sometimes the ball is blocked behind the player, which is really only possible in the warped physical space of 08).

Going for the steal!

Unlike 06, however, you can't simply go in for the dunk after you get the ball, lest Boykins blocks your shot. What I've fond to be most effective is to use your player's body to block the defender behind the backboard. This way, he can only fling wildly as you drop the reverse layup or short jumper. By the way, these shooting options can be better than dunking because a dunk sometimes freezes your player with the post-dunk animatics, and prevents you from re-positioning your player to catch the next inbound.

Blocking out!

2. The usual trading rules apply in that the computer is greedy for numbers. You can easily trade 3 average players for a star player provided you don't exceed the salary cap and the other team's player slots. This is how I managed to land Chris Bosh for Leon Powe, Brian Scalabrine, and Tony Allen. What a coup. Christ Bosh in 08, by the way, is someone who can easily average 50 points. This is because he has a bigger profile that increases your chance of an inbound steal, the speed to rush to block the ball in spite of his size, and an unblockable dunk provided you do it in a particular position somewhere near the base of the basket.

The unstoppable dunk pattern.

3. And finally, get big men only! If you can manage it, i.e., they aren't too slow, play only big men. The block, steal better, and can dunk after the steal. Apart from wide open shots, this is your best bet at succeeding in 08.

Well well, the mid-semester break is upon us once again, and this means I'm free to post nonsense on my English blog again. Topics like this nifty online flash that converts you into a Simpson! Ok ok, this is old news, but I just got wind of it alright? Anyway, this online app allowed me to put to rest once and for all this theory I've always had that Felicia Chin looks like a real-life Simpson. I dunno, it's just that her mouth is shaped stylistically like a Simpson, with a somewhat protruding upper lip. Don't believe me? See the results of the Simpsonizeme for yourself:

Convinced? Yeah, I thought you would be, hehe. And just in case people think I don't have a sense of humor, (which I do...it's just a little subdued you know what I mean you anal-retentive prick?), I made myself into a Simpson too:

The flash app makes the eyes blink, which is a fetish I've had since my All About Ranma 1/2 days, but I'm too fat and lazy now to put myself through the ordeal of drawing eyelids frame-by-frame. So, in my own little socialist way, I give you the power to imagine me blinking instead of imposing my own artistic impressions on you. Yeah, I'm nice.:P